Resilience and happiness play distinct yet intertwined roles in shaping a child’s emotional development. As parents, our instinct is often to shield our children from discomfort and sadness, striving to make them happy in every situation. However, in doing so, we inadvertently hinder their ability to develop resilience—the capacity to withstand and navigate through life’s challenges.

The World Health Organization defines mental health as: “Mental health is a state of well-being in which an individual realises his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and is able to make a contribution to his or her community”.

At Questfield International College, we encourage resilience. We believe that when we prioritize happiness over resilience, we risk depriving our children of the opportunity to learn emotional regulation and tolerance for a wide range of feelings. By constantly reassuring them and redirecting their attention to positive aspects, we inadvertently communicate that certain emotions, like sadness or frustration, are unacceptable or undesirable.

Children, in their formative years, are adept at picking up on these cues and internalizing them as patterns. They learn which emotions are deemed safe and acceptable and which ones should be avoided or suppressed. This narrow emotional repertoire can set the stage for anxiety and emotional turmoil later in life, as they lack the tools to cope with adversity.

Resilience, on the other hand, involves sitting with discomfort, acknowledging difficult emotions, and developing strategies to navigate through them. It’s about teaching children that it’s okay to feel sad, frustrated, or scared and empowering them to confront these emotions head-on. As parents, our words and actions shape our children’s inner dialogue and self-perception. Instead of rushing to fix their problems or dismissing their struggles, we can cultivate resilience by validating their feelings, expressing confidence in their ability to overcome challenges, and providing a supportive presence as they navigate through life’s ups and downs.

Building resilience in children requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to embrace discomfort. It means reframing setbacks as opportunities for growth, instilling a sense of autonomy and self-reliance, and fostering a deep sense of trust and connection in the parent-child relationship.

Resilience lays the foundation for enduring happiness by providing children with the emotional regulation and coping mechanisms necessary to navigate life’s inevitable challenges with grace and strength. As parents, our ultimate objective is not merely to shield our children from adversity, but to empower them to face it head-on and emerge stronger and more capable as a result.